My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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