She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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