Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
a search helicopter?!
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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