I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
