I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
