I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
