Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
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