So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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