ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
