Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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