Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
