My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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