He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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