so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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