just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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