so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
