The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
