Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize