; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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