dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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