Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
wow bdsm is so cute
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