The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize