your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
