Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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