I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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