I seem to have left my pride at pride
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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