He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize