he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the day after is always just damage control
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
