does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
