Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
