youre lurking in front of me
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
