one might say we're banned from that church
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
