Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
