Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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