a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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