All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
