He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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