Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
