lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
