no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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