I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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