Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i've created a new STD.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
