i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
