how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
