well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
