So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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