And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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