I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
