i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
