id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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