Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
