I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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