I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize