It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Please don't give away my fajitas
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
