Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
