I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Michael Bay diarrhea
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
