So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wish I only lived at night.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
