I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
