I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
