booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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