Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
