Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
