just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
