I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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