You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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