my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i think i have two assholes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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