Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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