Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
