the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
