Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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