I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
