Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize